i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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