what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
