so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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