I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
