Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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