I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
