your room smells of hookers.
And success
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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