it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
