Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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