Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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