Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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