I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
