i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
