I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I am naked and annoyed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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