Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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