So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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