he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
