Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is Oprah even human
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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