isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize