So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
