Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
