Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
