There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
