I think I am morally bankrupt
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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