remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
