no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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