whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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