you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
im calling her cock vulture from now on
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
