He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
