just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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