so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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