Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
