Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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