My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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