If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize