belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
