He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
