Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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