i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
