We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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