so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
