so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
