Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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