the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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