CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
