I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
