Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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