I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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