I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
