It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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