i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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