I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
