New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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