not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
