If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
3pm strippers are depressing
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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