I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
