Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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