just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
