ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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