My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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