We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
