i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
