He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
