After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
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The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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