Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
